Sleepless in Pain

The pain didn’t just linger after New York.

It took over.

I was peeing constantly. Not a few extra trips here and there. It felt like thirty to forty bathroom breaks every single day and night combined. My life became a cycle of standing up, rushing to the bathroom, sitting in pain, and going right back again.

But it was at night when it truly hit.

I later learned that interstitial cystitis often feels worse after dark because urine becomes more concentrated while you sleep, irritating an already inflamed bladder lining. Hormone levels shift, pain sensitivity increases, and there are fewer distractions to pull your focus away from what your body is feeling.

Your bladder fills.
The pressure builds.
And the inflamed nerves fire nonstop.

All of it collides in the quiet hours.

For me, nighttime became unbearable.

The burning intensified.
The pressure grew heavier.
The urgency never stopped.

I would pee, crawl back into bed, and within minutes feel that sharp, screaming sensation all over again.

Up.
Bathroom.
Pain.
Back to bed.

Then right back up.

Over and over.
All night long.

There was no relief.
No position that helped.
No break for my body.

Sleep was no longer sleep. It was short, broken moments in between pain.

Twenty minutes.
Maybe thirty if I was lucky.

Most nights, I wasn’t.

Exhaustion settled into me so deeply it felt like it lived in my bones. The kind of tired that doesn’t go away. The kind that makes everything harder.

Eventually, I became anxious about bedtime.

Not because I couldn’t sleep.

But because I knew what was waiting for me.

I knew the pain would come.
I knew the constant bathroom trips would start.
I knew the night would be long and miserable.

Laying down didn’t mean rest.

It meant hours of suffering.

And the worst part was knowing there was no end in sight.

---

I tried to get in to see my urologist.

But then COVID hit.

Appointments were canceled.
Offices were closed.
Everything was delayed.

So I did what so many people do when they’re hurting and can’t get answers.

I turned to good old Dr. Google.

Late nights, exhausted and desperate for relief, I started researching my symptoms.

Everything pointed to a urinary tract infection.

The burning.
The urgency.
The constant need to pee.

But there was never an infection.

No bacteria.
No explanation.

I also started noticing a pattern.

The pain would surge for a few days.

Then slowly calm back down.

Then come back again.

At the time, I didn’t know those were flares.

I just thought my body was being unpredictable and cruel.

Later, I would learn that there are countless things that can trigger an IC flare:

Stress.
Bumpy car rides.
Travel.
Cycling.
Long periods of sitting.
Tight clothing or pressure on the abdomen.

And many of the foods and drinks I was consuming every day:

Coffee.
Tea.
Soda.
Alcohol.
Spicy foods.
Tomatoes and tomato-based sauces.
Citrus fruits and juices.
Chocolate.
Artificial sweeteners.

Even things that seem harmless can irritate an already inflamed bladder.

At the time, I had no idea that so many everyday habits and foods were actually making my symptoms worse.

I was unknowingly fueling the pain.

Trying to live normally.

And slowly making it harder on my body.